You meet someone you believe to be your “destiny”. Your eyes sparkle with joy. Your heart pounds uncontrollably whenever you think of this person. You feel that love is definitely in the air.
But after a while, you lose the spark …The magic disappears — and the love is gone. Then you begin to say things you wish you could take back. You regret ever meeting this person. You blame yourself for falling for the wrong one. You have this undeniable feeling that the relationship is going nowhere. You vow never to trust anyone ever again.
It is every person’s dream to “live happily ever after” with their one true love. And in as much as we all dream of a “fairy tale-like” happy ending, this is not always the case in real life.
First, we need to understand why relationships sometimes don’t work out the way we hoped it would:
FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE WRONG REASONS AT THE WRONG TIME
The right kind of love will happen at the right time and for the right reasons. The best time is when we are at our “BEST”. It is not because we want or need someone, but it is because we are ready to love. Remember, the right person and a good relationship deserves our 100% wholeness and commitment. Having the right reason to love will also give us the conviction to fight for it no matter what.
LOVING TO “FEEL GOOD”, INSTEAD OF LOVING TO BRING OUT THE GOOD IN EACH OTHER
Yes, being in a relationship will actually make us feel good, but it’s not enough. We should also be ready to bring out the good in each other even during the times when we are not actually “feeling good” about the relationship or the person we love. It’s easy for us to fall in love, but it is easier for us to fall out of it when we let feelings rule over us. Feelings can fade, choices may change, someone or something better can always come along, but the firm decision to love should last for a lifetime.
LOVE IS NOT WORTH THE PAIN
As cliché as it may sound, we grow more in loving when we learn to give love until it hurts. Pain is inevitable in any relationship. In fact, oftentimes we get hurt more by the very people closest to our hearts. But getting hurt should be nothing compared to the fulfillment of loving unconditionally, loving without expectations and loving without “keeping a record of wrongs”(1 Corinthians). The more we get hurt, the stronger we can become. The stronger we are, the more committed we will be to fight for a relationship we believe is meant for us.
Relationships can either make or break us…It can be our greatest source of pain, but it can also be our best learning experience. It’s up to us how we choose to move on.